It took me many years to really figure out what had happened, and the effects that it had had on me.
I’m here looking out the window, and I remembered that when I was growing up, my parents had such drama between them that they put me in a very awkward situation regularly. And I call this video today, Go Find Your Father and Tell Him That. And it was a situation where there would be so many crises every day, there was something or the other.
And my mother would say, “Go find your father and tell him that.” And I’m talking 10. I’m talking a 10 year old will tell him that this has to be done, this has to be paid.
From the time I was 10 until the time I was 17
And it happened from the time I was 10 until the time I was 17. And I just want to say to those parents that are out there, whether you’re the father or the mother, if you want to cause your children stress, anxiety, turmoil, imbalance, do those kinds of things. It took me many years to really figure out what had happened, and the effects that it had had on me.
So something would come up. And my mother would say, “Go find your father and tell him that.” Now, that’s important because he didn’t live with us. And also, I kind of wasn’t exactly sure where he lived. But in those circumstances, that’s what she would say. And off I would go at 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, etc., all the way up to the time I was 17.
The message that he’s giving me is really directed at her
And go find him and tell him that. Now, the sad part about this is that when he sees me coming with this message that he obviously knows is coming from my mother, he’s already upset. Whether he’s correct or incorrect, or whether something was a crisis or was not a crisis, he’s upset.
And so the message that he’s giving me is really directed at her. And the unfortunate part for both of them was that neither of the two of them for all those years had the insight or the self-control to say, “You know what, we can’t do this to this little girl.” They did it with, let me use this word, impunity. They never thought about it for a second.
If you don’t heal your demons, they will raise your children
And recently I saw a posting and it said, “If you don’t heal your demons, they will raise your children.” And I can tell you that that was the scenario that I grew up in.
Sometimes when you see people on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube talking, you think that they’re very far away from your problems or the situations, your experiences. I want you to know that this is a small drop in the bucket of experiences that I had with my parents, with my dad, with my mom, that really was a perfect storm in my life.
I was able to forgive them
So the thing is that here I am many, many years later, I was able to heal. I was able to forgive them. I was able to build a life that reflects the fact that I understood that the challenges that I got in my life, the package that I got, the deal that I got was simply a deal that I needed to work through and overcome. And on the other side of that challenge was the possibility for a better life.
I hope you know this. I hope you know this. And I hope you come to understand this for yourself.