This is a moment for men and women to come together.
It’s me, it’s Olivia S. Benson, and you guys, if you’ve been here before, you already know the drill. It’s the S, because otherwise you’d be talking about Mariska Hargitay from Law & Order SVU. I didn’t realize I was mispronouncing her name all this time, but it’s Mariska.
But anyway, I’m Olivia S. Benson, the real Olivia S. Benson, and today I am super, super excited, because we’re starting a new series, and the series is based on Chapter 7 of my book, Answers from Within: A Spiritual Guide to Finding Answers to Work-Life Issues, and the chapter is titled Recasting the Relationship Between Men and Women. By the way, if you’ve been here before, you know the book is available on Amazon. My website is OliviaSBenson.com. I’m on Facebook. I’m on Instagram. I’m on YouTube, Olivia S. Benson.
And I just got done doing a live talking about a video that I posted about the Human Genome Study that really puts all the evidence together about the fact that all humans on the planet are 99.99% the same. But that’s a different subject for a different day. The live is posted on Instagram.
In any event, for me to say that the world is topsy-turvy right now is an understatement. There is so much going on, and it’s going on in virtually every area at the same time, and this usually happens when we’re in a period of change, a period of transition. And needless to say, most human beings don’t like change, so that in and of itself makes it difficult. But this is, at least in my life experience, extraordinary, the things that we’re seeing, and also because many of them we didn’t expect to see in the way that we are seeing it right now.
So this particular chapter — if you have the book or you’ve read the book, you know that the chapter before it is titled Man’s Inhumanity to Woman, and I spoke about that a great deal during Women’s History Month. So we address the story of why women have just historically found themselves in this position, and if you haven’t seen those, you can go back to my Instagram and also YouTube. Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube — the clips are on Facebook and Instagram, but the full videos are usually on YouTube.
Humans Have Traditionally Made Up a Lot of Things That Are Not True
But in any event, what we are dealing with now is a period of time when things have changed. I’ll say this without calling any names: humans have traditionally made up a lot of things that are not true. My position is that I’m generally speaking not angry or upset or mad about the things that were made up, because whoever was in power, they figured out a way to make up a story to keep things the way that they wanted them, okay? And the rest of the humans, who didn’t have the ability to exercise authority or control or power, were placed in a situation where they went along with the story.
So for example, for women, women have been from the beginning of time demonized and put in this position like they’re the evil ones, based on the account of the Adam and Eve story. Many people not realizing that the story is an allegory, and it’s not a detailed account of how an invisible non-human energy force spirit brought the universe into being. And the fact that women were placed in this position was just based on what was going on at that particular time. It was a strategy for survival.
Yes, men went out and hunted and women stayed home and took care of the home and the garden, or whatever the story was that we made up. And it worked. It was important. That’s what we needed at that particular time. But guess what? It’s a different time, it’s a different place, and it’s a different story. And the story can be updated, because we now have facts, we have information, and we have the ability to create a new reality based on those facts.
The Paradigms Have to Be Examined and Updated
Now, the difficulty with this is that when you have had the same story rolling for thousands of years, it takes a lot for people to be willing to change. And in particular, when we get down to the story of how men and women relate to each other, that’s a very, very sensitive issue.
Listen, as a woman, I’m delighted that I was born in this day and age. I’m delighted that I had the opportunity to study and to develop a career and to do multiple things. That’s a great time. Now, my grandmother — and I always tell this story — my grandmother who was born in Jamaica, when I was growing up, she was awesome in every possible way. But one thing she told me was she said that a woman who did not make up her bed every day was worthless.
And when I was growing up, I was like, you gotta get up in the morning and you gotta make up your bed and you gotta be, because otherwise you’re worthless. And then eventually, I had to say, wait a second, I gotta get up and some days I have to go. I can’t make up my bed every day — in my mind talking to my grandmother, right? Because that was her paradigm, right? But guess what? That’s not true. You’re not worthless if you don’t make up your bed, particularly if you have to get up and you have to do multiple things and you have to go to work, and you just don’t have the opportunity to make up your bed.
And in fact, there are people in the world, and have always been people in the world, who have not made up their bed and who have paid somebody to make up their bed, and they are not worthless. So the paradigms have to be examined and they have to be updated. And it’s easier for women to say, oh my God, I’m free, and to move forward, right? But if you’re a guy, you’re thinking, well, what am I? Well, if it’s not how it used to be, then what is it going to be for me?
What Happened, India?
And I always, when I think about this topic and write about it and speak about it, I always think about India, right? Because for example, for me, India has a very spiritual heritage. They have a lot of books that have been written for thousands of years about spirituality and interesting things along those lines. But if you go and look at what is happening in India at this moment with regards to women and their liberation and the violence against women in the country, simply because some men — not all men, but some men — have decided that they would rather see women remain in the same position. And it makes me shake my head.
I’m like, oh, come on, India. I mean, the rest of the world, but India really. You know, the Upanishads, all the great writings, this and that, yoga, meditation — what happened? What happened, India? You’re supposed to be — I’m saying you’re supposed to be as a joke — the example. So that is a classic example, because we know in other parts of the world they have very difficult systems, and very structured systems that intend to keep women in a certain place. But India, India, please. But anyway, I’ll leave you alone for the moment. The bottom line is that it is not exemplary with regards to this particular issue.
We Recognize Every Living Being as a Spiritual Being First
Now, in America, it seems that we are pretty advanced with regards to women’s rights and women’s issues. Yet there appears to be some significant amount of resistance and resentment. And if you followed me, if you’ve read my books, if you have been to my website, you know that everything that I speak about is based on a spiritual perspective.
And so the bottom line here is that I believe that we’ve come to a time where we recognize every living being as a spiritual being first. And once you do that, and you realize that there’s a divine creator of every single human being, and that every single human being that comes to the planet comes with gifts, talents, skills, and abilities sent by the divine creator — male, female, straight, gay, trans, white, black, whatever the categories are — there is no variation in the creator. The creator doesn’t say, oh, yeah, well, this one doesn’t get it, and this one gets it, and so on and so on.
So now if we’re men and women, and we’re living on the planet as divine creations, how are we going to say that women are supposed to be maintained in that position, in a subservient position? It was okay for a while, because that’s all we had. But now we have something different. We can do better, people, we can do better. And so then we come into the challenge of how to work through getting to that place.
I Won’t Know What My Job Is
There was a show many years ago, many years ago. And the essence of the show was that you could decide if you’re going to keep your current girlfriend, or if you’re going to upgrade, and I think they would bring like two or three other women to the show for the guy — or it could go either way, it could be a male choosing or a female. But in one of those segments, the guy said, no, no, no, I’ll keep my current girlfriend, because I know what to do for her. And I could choose one of these other women, and I won’t know what my job is.
And that’s what we’re looking at right now. Sometimes some men feel like things are changing, and I don’t know what my role is.
But the good news is that we’re doing a series. Yes, we are. Today is the first introductory part of this series, and it’s called The Raw Truth About the New Relationship Between Men and Women. What is your role as a new male? In Answers from Within, in chapter 7, which is Recasting the Relationship Between Men and Women, I talk about the new male.
If a woman can get educated, can be accomplished in any number of ways, and can have her own money, it may not be that she wants you so that you can take care of her. It may not be that she wants you because you have money — which is actually a good thing, because that’s not a basis for a relationship. It may be that she wants you because you can be a companion to her. It may be that she wants you because you’re a good person. It may be that she wants you because you can be a good father to her children. And it may be that she wants someone who is on the same page with her.
And between men and women, there’s so many things that we do for each other just by our presence, in terms of balance. And often there are lots of posts out there about the fact that you choose a companion who can help you to balance your energy, who can keep you calm, rather than agitating you.
We Need to Redefine What It Is to Be a Man
So for the guys out there who are feeling like, oh, I don’t know what I’m going to do, if I can’t be, let’s say, the provider, then what do I do? Not true at all. You can be many other things. I know many couples that the husband stays home and the wife works because she makes more money. Does that make the guy that stays home less? No. We need to redefine what it is to be a man.
Is being a man just simply that you’re going to work? Is that all that it is to be a man? And is being a man just that you have to be oppressive? Does your definition of being a man include the fact that you have to be able to keep somebody under you? When that happens, that means that you don’t know who you are. Because if you know that you’re a divine being, that you’re a spiritual being, and that you come from the creator with your own gifts, your own talents, your own power, then you don’t seek to get energy and power from keeping anybody else down. Whether it’s based on race, gender, or anything else.
We are all divine creations. And if we know that, then we don’t spend time trying to keep other people down so that we can feel better.
This Is a Moment for Men and Women to Come Together
So we are starting this series. Again, the book is Answers from Within. The chapter is chapter 7, Recasting the Relationship Between Men and Women. So get it.
Now we’re going to do a number of different things. And one of the things that we’re going to do is that we’re going to have a giveaway. We’re going to give away a book, one of the books, a signed copy of Answers from Within. We are going to give away some tea. And we’re going to give away one of my cups. And you guys know I always talk about this one: I’m willing to do the work to be whole. Because I think it’s important that we have to decide that we’re going to do whatever is necessary to make our life better. And the information about the contest and how it works is going to be available very shortly.
And so the series is for women who are negotiating their own path of self-expression. Once you discover who you are and what your gifts and talents are, this series is for you. It’s for men who want to understand this moment, this transitional moment in human history. It’s also for couples who are looking for a deeper understanding of the changes and how to manage it. And anyone who believes that the way we treat each other on the planet matters.
So I really want to encourage you. There’s so many things that have happened with regards to relationships between men and women. There’s a lot of stress around in the world. And there’s a lot of misunderstanding. One of the things that I say often is that humans have made up a lot of stories. We make up stuff. And now it’s a good time, because we actually have the ability to know the truth about a lot of different things. And this is a moment for men and women to come together. We can work together.
The divine creator of the universe did not create men as fully capable and then decide to create women as incapable. That didn’t happen. And also, it did not say, I’m going to make male and female, but they will never be able to work together in their complete fullness as divine beings. Quite to the contrary. She can be all that she can be. And you can be all that you can be. That is the plan. The question is, how do we get there?
I have a couple of guests coming in who will also — men, particularly men, coming in — share their opinion about this transitional period in human history. My Facebook page is Author Olivia S. Benson. And my YouTube and Instagram are Olivia S. Benson. And my website is OliviaSBenson.com. And the book that we’re going to be working with is Answers from Within. It’s available on Amazon.
It’s a very interesting time in human history, and there is a solution.